Man, what's up with all of this shit about how bad FUNCOLAND employees are?  Flea Market dealers are twice as bad.  Here are some reasons why I stopped buying from them.

1.  Over priced games
Okay, Super Mario Brothers for $5!!!  Fuck all that shit.  Apparently, flea market dealers DO NOT understand supply and demand.  They figure that since the cart is so easy to find, that it's POPULAR and should cost just as much money.  That's when I gotta set 'em straight Steven Seagal-style

2.  They take you for a complete idiot.
Here is a conversation I had with a dealer once.

Me:  How much is this copy of 10-yard Fight?
Them:  5 dollars.
Me:  Don't you think that's kind of high?
Them:  No, that's old nintendo and it's not sold in stores anymore.  It's RARE.  They stopped making it 10 years ago.
Me:  Actually, it's more like 5 years ago.
Them:  That game right there is one of my best sellers.
Me:  Is that what you say about all of your games?
Them:  No.

3.  They DO NOT know how to even load a game.
Ok, this one guy took forever to load this one game I wanted.  He tried stupid shit like repeatedly pressing reset, and other dumb methods.  After about 10 minutes of watching him fiddle with the game and system, I got bored and started to walk away.  Then he FINALLY got it to work and yelled to me "You see! I told you it worked!"  What an idiot.

4.  They beat their poor kids.
When they get tired(or drunk), they get their bastard kid to take over the "family business".  Now usually, I will try to cut deals with the kid.  The kid really has NO problem, yet he still insists on refering to their parent(s).  Now this is the part where I feel really guilty. 

Me:  Hey, can I get these 3 games for $10?
Kid:  Uh.....um....yeah...uh...hold on.  DAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!
Dad:  (Takes a puff out of cigarrete)  What?!?
Kid:  I'm gonna give this guy a deal on these Nintendo games, is that okay?
Dad:  WHOA WHOA WHOA!!  What the hell are you doing????

At this point the father takes the kid to the side, yells at him a bit, and then slaps him around.  I feel guilty about it every time.  But on the plus side, I can use this senseless as of child abuse as a diversion for stealing games.  In just 5 short minutes, I've torn a family apart and stole their profits.  But then I realize that it's not my fault, and walk away with my games happily.

5.  They think that Zelda should be more expensive because it's GOLD.  Oh my!
Ok, this is yet another conversation I've had witha flea market dealer.

Me:  How much are these games?
Them:  Everything is 5 bucks, except for Zelda which is $10.
Me;  Why does it cost more?
Them:  This is a limited edition GOLD version of the game.  Its very rare.
Me:  I have 3 copies of it, and it is NOT rare.  But more importantly, it is NOT a limited edition.
Them:  Then why is it gold?
Me:  I dont know, it just is.  Actually, the GREY version is rarer.
Them:  (acting all proud and shit)Kid, I've been in this business for years.  Don't try to lie to me.  If you want the game, it's 10 bucks.
Me:  Why would I want it?  I just said I have 3 copies.

It may seem that I am being an asshole, but I assure you that I was only trying to help out.  I wouldn't want them to go on thinking that Zelda was special because it is Gold.  How can they sleep at night?!?

FINAL WORDS OF ADVICE
-Don't let them think that they're an expert.  YOU are the expert.
-Don't be afraid to cause trouble.  I get my NES games, and if a kid has to cry for your happiness, then so be it.
-Don't hesitate to steal.  What can they do?  Get the Flea Market Patrol after you?
-Remember, you ARE better than them.  I'm not shallow in any way, but I really AM better than them.  I would cut deals with people, clean the games every now and them, and I wouldn't beat my kid.  I think you would feel the same way.
-You ARE a retrogamer, like your father before you(Star Wars reference).  Don't take any shit from no one!

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