— CRAP GAME 'O THE MONTH, JUNE 2000 —

By Sappy (tnca@disflux.net)

Let's see. Where shall we begin on our first "Crap Game 'O the Month"? Wayne's World. Everyone loved Wayne's World. It was great move—funny, especially with Mike Myers. Unfortunatley, the morons at TH*Q struck up a deal with NBC to make this game for the NES. Bad idea.

	The game pretty much starts out with no story and some lines of text ripped from the movie. Notice how the replaced "Shitty Beatles" with "Lousy Beatles". He basically tells the story of his show, and then you're thrust into the first level as Garth.
If you like getting chased by saxophones, getting hit by music notes, and riding on drums with legs, then this game is for you. You're not even given a reason why you're here. Garth can shoot stuff with his "electro-gun" and run around and jump. After a while you switch to Wayne who does nothing but kick. Notice the ultra-cool "Way!" and "No Way!" signs on the wall. Why they're there is a mystery to me.

         

After you reach the roof, you chew out former girlfriend Stacy for getting you a gun-rack as a jpgt. What a stupid whore.

After that, you somehow arrive at the recording studio after the "Party on, Wayne!" "Party on, Garth!" exchange after each level. Here's more exciting action as you get chased by spiders, policemen, and the TV screen flying at you.

         

There's a gross case of police brutality, as seen in the pictures. He's cracking his club right on your skull just because you're trying to break into the studio. Also, in the picture to the left, Garth is getting attacked by ninjas and black cats in a dark alley—just like in the movie, right? And finally, on the bottom, we see Wayne being chased by a gang of angry black widow spiders.

After beating the cop in the recording studio, Wayne and Garth are magically transported back to the basement where Garth makes a wise suggestion—climb the side of the building to get to Benjamin's apartment. Of course! In the middle of downtown Chicago, climb barehanded up 23 floors!

After climbing over cats and flying newspaper that knock Wayne around, he finally reaches the top and breaks into Benjamin's apartment. After wandering aimlessly for a while, he sees some big muscleman—Benjamin, obviously, just like in the movie. After a few feeble kicks to the groin, Wayne is knocked down. Then, after dying 15 times, he gets lucky and beats him. Next level—right? Nope. You get this GREAT victory screen, which sadly, have the best graphics in the whole game.

Wow! That was sure worth it.

Everyone knows the graphics suck, but what about the music? Check out these WAVs of the level one music and the crappy http://osg.disflux.net/voice synthesizer saying "no way!"

"Our game sure did suck. Was it good? Shyeah right! And monkeys will fly out of our butts!"

"Good call. We were totally rancid."

Back to the PaNESian Press, dude...