— CRAP GAME 'O THE MONTH, AUGUST 2000 —
By Sappy (tnca@disflux.net)
As if the Where's Waldo? books weren't gay enough. So those brains down at Bethesda Softworks (known for past pieces of shit such as Wayne Gretzky Hockey) and T*HQ teamed up. They made a really bad book series into an even worse NES game. They have brought shame to our console. Time to rip them apart.
 |
The game starts out friendly enough. After some crappy title "music", we swing into action mode. I busted out laughing when I first saw this screen. Difficulty? My God, I'm in for a treat. It really doesn't matter which one you pick; the only difference how much laughing you're going to be doing. |
| After selecting your "difficulty", Waldo walks around aimlessly for about fifteen minutes until he stumbles into any one of the levels, such as the cave, train station, the fair grounds, and the forest. After entering a level, you get the main screen... |  |
 |
This is what you're faced with. You get a little box to find Waldo with. Depending on the "difficulty" you get more or less time. If you're fucking stupid enough to guess in a box where Waldo isn't located, you lose larger blocks of time. |
| Waldo sometimes wanders around in the dark, occasionally appearing so you have a chance to find him. Wow, that's pretty gay. This game would probably be worth playing if it had levels like "The Strip Club" or "The Crackhouse". At least your mission of finding some idiot would be somewhat entertaining. And what's with those freakin' glasses and hat? |  |
 |
The graphics suck so much, Waldo gets blurry and hard to see sometimes. Other than that, the hardest thing to do is to stop laughing. TH*Q and Bethesda Softworks are almost as bad as LJN when it comes to making games worth playing. |
| This level is a feeble attempt to make the game worth the $40 those two people payed to get the game. You control some kind of bullet that guides through a maze and the bullet must hit some guy in a beard. Uhh... |  |
| 
|
 |
| AHH! |
Well, for a game made in 1992, Where's Waldo? is sickeningly pathetic. Well, I take that back. If it were made in 1983 it would still suck. I think I'll go light my cartridge on fire now...so that pretty much wraps things up. See you all next month with another shitty game I make fun of.
Back to the PaNESian Press.
