Okay, I know what you're thinking. "Dur hur, damein c is a fag and shouldn't
sayy nnja guyden sux cuz he is ;lame scen kidy rofl rofl lol!!!!111" Well, yeah, I
hate Ninja Gaiden. But rather than using my usual flurry of colorful four-letter
words to describe this horrid title, I will actually attempt to give valid
and logical reasons for this game sucking.

Where to begin, where to begin? I guess to be fair I'll start out with
this pile of crap's few strong points. If there was one thing Tecmo did
right, it was the music, especially during the cinema scenes. It's catchy,
sets the mood, and is simply a pleasure to hear. I would even go as far
as ranking the music up there with games like Blaster Master and Journey to
Silius.

Of course, no one, not even myself can deny that the cinema scenes are quite
impressive and are unique to this series of games (with the exception of
Tecmo's own Tecmo Super Bowl). The graphics and animation for the cinema scenes
are quite superb, and do a good job of conveying the plot in greater detail
and making the game worth playing (to a certain extent).

Now, why, if this game is the "Crap Game of the Month," am I praising it? Well,
I'm getting to that right now. Ninja Gaiden is an INCREDIBLY MEDIOCRE side-
scroller. You, as Ryu, run around slashing stuff with your sword until you
scroll the screen a little and all the enemies you just killed re-appear
and then proceed to attack you. They hit you, and you are sent back what
seems like the real-life equivalent of 15 yards. Naturally, you fall into one
of the many bottomless pits. In order for one to beat the later levels, hours
of playing through and memorizing the patterns of the enemy are required. Later
on in the game, swarms of enemies hurtle themselves toward you, leaving you with
a whole TWO BARS OF LIFE with which to finish off the boss. Whose attacks take
away THREE BARS. Then of course, the game sends you back 3 levels and expects
you to be content with the fact that it gave you another chance.

Control is average at best. It's easy to get yourself into a situation where you're
still alive but any action you take will result in death. Ryu's recoil from attacks
only further hinders the control. The in-game graphics are nothing special. Below 
average in my opinion. The power-ups are boring, predictable, and for the most
part not very useful.

The bottom line is that the excellent cinema scenes and pleasing music simply do
NOT make up for this cart's insane difficulty, bland side-scrolling "action,"
and virtually non-existent replay value. I recommend avoiding this title like
the plague, or pissing on it or shooting it repeatedly with a rifle like some
of my colleagues would do. Kthxgoal.